"Adult illiteracy has many causes, but it can be eliminated."
Let's see--this sentence identifies the topic of the paper as adult illiteracy, and indicates that there are many causes, which the reader will naturally expect you to explain (and you do, for about half of your draft). Then comes the "but," a logical link to the opposite of "causes," which would be "solutions" or "cures" or something of the sort. Instead, the sentence continues "but it can be eliminated." Well, this seems to do the same job as "solutions" or "cures"--in fact, asserting that adult illiteracy can actually be eliminated is a strong positive statement indeed. What's more, just as your draft addresses the causes of illiteracy, it goes on to discuss its elimination, but evaluating solutions and proposing one you feel would be effective. All in all, then, this sentence prepares your reader for exactly the paper you are delivering. It works as a thesis sentence for your paper.
Wait a minute! You may be grumbling, "There's something wrong! This sentence talks about 'adult illiteracy,' but doesn't mention 'America!' Doesn't that open up the discussion to the whole world?"
Our answer to you grumblers:
a. Excellent! It's good for writers to grumble--especially to each other. The more grumbling the better; it shows how careful you're being, how concerned you are about your reader!
b. Excellent! You've certainly taken to heart our warning about making your thesis statement too large for your paper. Your draft does limit itself to America, and that doesn't appear in this possible thesis statement. Well, we reminded you at the start of this exercise that no statement is "perfect," and if you'd rather include "America" please do so. However, sometimes you can leave out information from a sentence if it is already known to your reader from the context. If, for example, your introduction makes it clear that your topic is limited to America, not the whole world, you can leave "America" out of the thesis statement. (Similarly, once you make it clear that you are discussing illiteracy among adults and not among children, you don't need to use the phrase "adult illiteracy" every time--just "illiteracy" will be enough. As you (and other writers you work with) read over your draft, see if there are points where it would be clearer to repeat the entire phrase, and points where it would be easier reading and no loss to use the shorter version. (And keep up that grumbling!)
