Sample Paper, Advanced or Intro
Title: Common Elements in Jean Toomer's Prose and Poetry
Assignment:
Jean Toomer's Cane is a composite work, a mosaic of prose and poetry. Because these elements are so closely bound together, it is almost impossible to classify Toomer as pure poet or pure novelist. To examine the relationship of these elements, choose any two poems and any one story in the first section of Cane. Examine these three selections closely to discover the elements - images, tone, point of view, diction, theme - common to Toomer's prose and poetry. Conclude your examination with a n explanation of how Toomer's poems carry on the pattern of the more extended prose fictions.
Study Tutor's Comments:
Congratulations! On the whole, this is a good paper. It meets most of the criteria for essays which are spelled out in the Empire State College Course Guide for this course. In terms of content, your paper reveals a great deal of insight into both the content and form of Toomer's works. In addition, it reveals analytical ability, as well as the ability to compare and contrast the works' themes. Furthermore, it conveys a great many insights into the world of "Cane", as well as a significant ability to support those insights with many examples from Toomer's works, examples which serve as evidence. Finally, for the most part, your grammar is good.
In the area of form, you paper demonstrates some clear achievements, as well as some areas for improvement. Your thesis is clear and you have developed it in paragraphs which are logically ordered -- i.e. They systematically develop each of the ways these three works illustrate common literary characteristics. The body and conclusion of your essay are distinct from your introduction. There are some areas for improvement, however. These pertain to your need to express some of your good ideas more clearly, to present your sub-points in your introduction and to document information correctly. If you review the relevant sections in a writer's reference, I'm sure your next paper will be even better!
Area of Study:
Cultural Studies
Paper
Jean Toomer, in Cane, alternates prose fiction with poetry to create a unified work of art. According to D. Elliott Parris (IUC Course Guide, Unit 8, p. 308), the poems are used to "reinforce and introduce themes that are repeated in the prose pieces". Parris contends that [Instructor's Comment: I like the forthright way you have begun this essay. The major problem here is with the way you have documented the secondary source. Please review the rules for documenting such sources in Diane Hacker's A Writer's Reference.]the poems "extend the symbolism of the prose narratives" and that they "elucidate, set the mood, or act as transitions between the stories" (IUC Course Guide, Unit 8, p. 305). In this paper I will attempt to explore some of the common elements in Toomer's prose and poetry by examining the prose piece "Fern", from Cane, in relation to the two poems that immediately follow it, "Nullo" and "Evening Song". [Instructor's Comment: Since you go on in the middle body section of this essay to detail the way these three works by Toomer share common images, tones, points of view, diction, themes and view of women, you should mention those six things here. Those six aspects of Cane's works constitute your sub-points, or sub-divisions of your thesis (main idea). When you present your sub-points early in your essay, you give your reader a road map for the rest of your essay.]
The imagery in each of these works is very similar. Images of nature, light (sunlight, moonlight, reflected light), heat, water, forests, and pine needles abound in all three selections. The beauty of nature is a predominant [image] [Instructor's Comment: I think topic would be a better word than "image"] in all three, and in "Fern" and "Evening Song" the beauty of women is described in terms of nature's beauty. [Instructor's Comment: I like the way you summarize here the different types of images that you see in Cane's works. Such a summary gives your reader a road map for the section of your paper which presents your thoughts on shared imagery in these three works.]
"Fern" begins with a description of Fern's face which flows "in soft cream foam and plaintive ripples" into her eyes (p. 16). [Instructor's Comment: I love the description you have given here. However, I think it should be preceded by a sentence which lets your reader know that this paragraph will concern images of water in Cane's works. Such a sentence will serve as this paragraph's topic sentence. Topic sentences are explained in a Writer's Reference.] The prevalent image is of waves of water flowing like a current. The "curves of her profile" flow "like mobile rivers, to their common delta" (p. 16). This imagery is continued in "Evening Song" with Cloine "curled like the sleepy waters where the moon-waves start" and a full moon "rising on the waters" (p. 21). The image is not as obvious in "Nullo", but Toomer does refer to the pine-needles being "dipped" in gold (i.e. submersed in a liquid) (p.20).
Light is also a common image in all three selections-especially images of natural light (sunlight, moonlight). [Instructor's Comment: This is a great topic sentence!] In "Fern", "her eyes, if it were sunset, rested idly where the sun, molten and glorious, was pouring down between the fringe of pines" (p. 17). In "Nullo" Toomer speaks of a "spray of pine-needles, dipped in western horizon gold" which brings to mind a picture of a beautiful sunset over water on the western horizon. In "Evening Song" the prevalent image is of moonlight shining on water, and Cloine herself is described as radiant and gleaming ("radiant, resplendently she gleams" p. 21), thus she is a reflection of light, shining as brilliantly as the moon. The absence or waning of light (i.e., the image of dusk, evening, or sunset) is also a common image in each of these selections.
Images of warmth and heat, often relating to the sunlight, are also common in these works. Fern is described with warm earth tones (her face flowed in "soft cream foam", her upper lips were a "creamy brown color", she was a "cream-colored" girl, pp. 16-17). [Instructor's Comment: You are trying to make an important point here, but it is not fully coming across, in part because you are trying to say too much in one sentence. I think you need at least two sentences here to present the images and a third to explain how these images of "creaminess" reflect "warmth and heat".] In "Fern" the sun is described as "molten", bringing to mind hot molten lava (p. 17). Before Fern faints she feels filled with something "like boiling sap" that "flooded arms and fingers till she shook them as if they burned her" (p. 19). This image of heat and burning is continued in "Nullo" with the image of the gold pine-needles glowing like they are on fire with the reflected light and heat of the sun (the needles "fell onto a path" but the forest did not "catch aflame" p. 20). In "Evening Song" the full moon reflecting on the water is linked to firelight ("lakes and moon and fires", p. 21), and the images of Cloine is one of a woman who is radiating warmth and heat ("radiant" can mean emitting radiant heat or radiating rays of light; "resplendent" can mean glowing).
Nature is a prominent image in each of these works. In addition to water, light and heat, images of forests and pine-needles, cotton-fields and corn-fields, soil, trees, and animals (cows and rabbits) are common. [Instructor's Comment: This is an important point. You need to give some examples of some of these patterns of imagery in order to convey this point more fully.]
In addition to common imagery, there is a shared tone running through each of these selections. It is a sensual, slumbering, drowsy, and warm tone. It is a tone with elements of admiration, adoration and worship ( of both the beauty in nature and the beauty of women, i.e. Fern and Cloine). [Instructor's Comment: Again, this is a very important point, which needs a little more clarification. If you rework the somewhat awkward wording in the first three sentences and spell out the connections more between sentences, I think your point will be clearer.] In "Fern" Fern rests "listless-like on the railing of her porch" and constantly tilts her head forwards because of a nail that "she never took the trouble to pull out" (p. 17). Her eyes "rested idly" or "gazed" off into the distance, and "like as not they'd settle on some vague spot above the horizon" (p. 17). Fern seems to be waiting passively, almost lazily, for something to happen. In "Evening Song" there is a continuation of this drowsy, lazy tone: Cloine "tires", sleeps" and "dreams"; "promises of slumber" leave shore "to charm the moon"; and Cloine curls up "like the sleepy waters where the moon-waves start" (p.21). [Instructor's Comment: I really like all the wonderful examples you are giving to prove your point.] The sensual, warm tone is also present in Nullo (the image of the gold pine-needles possibly catching the forest aflame). [Instructor's Comment: I suggest that you present the example of the "sensual warm tone" in "Nullo" in a separate sentence and explain how it exemplifies that tone. Presenting this example in parenthesis leaves your reader a little confused.]
The tone of worship and adoration is also very strong in these works. In "Fern" the narrator is allured and distracted by Fern's beauty and finds her puzzling. The narrator himself tells us that "men are apt to idolize...that which they cannot understand, especially if it be a woman" (p. 16). Fern is put on a pedestal and worshipped by men, the narrator included. The narrator tells us "a sort of superstition crept into their consciousness of her being somehow above them" (p. 16). In "Evening Song" the narrator is also worshipping and admiring the beauty of Cloine as she sleeps with her "lips pressed against" his heart (p. 21). The poem "Evening Song" is a love song to Cloine. The narrator worships Cloine and compares her to an evening star ("vesper") that shines brilliantly.
There are also commonalities in the narrative stance, or point of view, in these three selections. [Instructor's Comment: This sentence is a good attempt at a topic sentence, but it is a little unclear. You need to specify that you will be discussing point of view in this paragraph. Point of view is something more specific than narrative stance.] In "Fern" a first person narrator presents a limited, detached point of view at the beginning of the story, and then becomes actively involved in the events of the story, rather than simply a narrator of those events. In "Nullo" the narrator is third person and presents a limited, detached point of view (although he does seem to know that the rabbits did not notice the pine needles falling), similar to the narrator at the beginning of "Fern". In "Evening Song" the narrator [is] [Instructor's Comment: the phase "speaks in the " would convey your thought more clearly than "is"] first person, and has a limited point of view (we are not told what Cloine is thinking or dreaming about), but the first person narrator is very much involved (not detached. In "Evening Song" the narrator has achieved the degree of involvement with and closeness to Cloine that the narrator in "Fern" is not successful in achieving with Fern.
Another common element in Toomer's prose and poetry is diction. When I think of the term diction I usually think of vocal expression and pronunciation, and the story and poems I chose to analyze do not have dialogue in them (although others in Cane do). [Instructor's Comment: I am not quite sure what you mean by the above.] However, diction can also refer to the choice of words used, especially with respect to their effectiveness. I think that, in all three of the selections I am examining, Toomer chooses his words very carefully to effectively convey a consistency in tone and imagery, as discussed above. The language used in all three of these pieces is formal, proper English. Toomer does not attempt to reproduce the southern Negro dialect in these pieces (in stark contrast to "Blood Burning Moon" and "Kabnis"). This, I think, is because the words are the narrator's, and the narrator is an educated, "northern" black man (we are told this in "Fern" and can only surmise it in "Evening Song").
In Darwin T. Turner's introduction to Cane, he states that part 1 of Cane focuses particularly on "women whose behavior or thought contrasts with the expectations and demands of society" 9p. 135). This is true of "Fern". Fern's behavior, her seeming indifference to men and the world around her, does not fit in with society's values. Men cannot understand Fern because she does not seek material, tangible things. Fern desires nothing that men can give her. Men do not know how to satisfy her, and as a result, get no satisfaction from sleeping with her. Fern is not in harmony with herself or with those around her. She does not seem to understand why men worship her. She appears listless, lacking in energy, spirit and interest.
According to Turner, one of the main themes running through Toomer's writing is the inability and need of mankind to harmonize soul, body and mind (p. 135). Toomer, in his poetry and prose, paints us pictures of nature's beauty as evidence that a natural harmony does exist. This perfect harmony (found in nature) is what Toomer's male and female characters seem unable to attain.
Fern is a solitary figure, and her face is described as flowing in "plaintive" ripples. Thus Fern is cast as a woman with an expression of suffering, woe, or melancholy about her. A fern is a flowerless, seedless plant. Fern herself is rendered seedless and barren: "Being above them meant that she was not to be approached by anyone. She became a virgin. . ." (p. 16). Left in this unnatural state, Fern's beauty is tragically wasted. The narrator tries to reach through to her. He wants to attain a closeness with Fern and to somehow unlock her mysteries, but he cannot. Fern remains a passive, solitary figure, watching trains (and life) go by. She is not capable of achieving that harmony of body, mind and spirit. We are only given a short glimpse into her torment and anguish, first when she exclaims to the narrator "Doesn't it make you mad" (p. 19), and then again right before she faints in his arms: "her body was tortured with something it could not let out. Like boiling sap it flooded arms and fingers till she shook them as if they burned her. It found her throat, and sputtered inarticulately in plaintive, convulsive sounds...."(p. 19).
Fern is symbolic of the wasted beauty of the dying Negro race as it struggles to find harmony in a changing world that will never understand it. She is the Negro woman in a transitional, unnatural state, blending with other cultures and races (Fern is a half-breed, Jewish and Negro). Fern is tragically insignificant: "Nothing ever really happened. Nothing ever came to Fern" (p. 19).
In "Nullo", Toomer continues to explore the themes of beauty and harmony, describing a forest scene at sunset. Fern can be likened to the beautiful spray of pine needles that has fallen to the forest floor unnoticed. The title of this poem suggests that the poem is about something that has not value or is insignificant (null). The fall of the pine needles is insignificant just as Fern's wasted beauty, and her life, are insignificant. Perhaps Toomer is pointing out the tragedy of a society that does not attach value to, or even notice, the death, fall, or wasting away of beauty.
Toomer links nature, beauty, love and harmony inextricably in "Evening Song", where Cloine's lover lies next to her and watches over her lovingly as she falls asleep. Here we seem to glimpse a picture of true harmony and peace. Cloine is described as radiant, which can mean expressive of love, confidence and happiness (in stark contrast to "plaintive" Fern). She and her lover seem to be in perfect harmony with one another and with the images of nature that her lover uses to describe her. Yet we do not know what Cloine is thinking or dreaming about. Is their shared happiness and contentment carried over into the daylight hours, or is harmony between man and woman only achievable while sleeping and dreaming? Perhaps the full moon described in "Evening Song" symbolized the end of a cycle, and Cloine and her lover are representative of a harmony achievable only at death.
Toomer, I believe, is deliberately abstract, leaving his works open to various interpretations. His alternation of prose and poetry allows him to utilize poetry to carry on and emphasize more fully the patterns, imagery, and symbolism of his prose, while leaving it up to the reader to discover and interpret the connections between the works. The poems prompt the reader to search more deeply for the hidden meanings in Toomer's works. The poetry frees Toomer from the constraints of traditional prose and allows him to elaborate on certain themes, or transition from one story to another, in creative ways. The poetry, both between and within stories, is used effectively to emphasize rhythmic patterns (of speech, song, and nature), thus greatly adding to the sensual feel of Toomer's writing. If one thing is certain, it is that Toomer's innovative use of prose fiction and poetry provides the reader with a provocative and unique reading experience. 
